The dumb things that people say

This post is dedicated to my friend, Ang, who is fabulous and will totally get this. Thank you for always being there for me through the very bad and the very good.

In my second post ever on my very new blog I said that I would one day write an essay about the dumb things that people say when one is going through a hard time. It’s not an essay…. more of a list. Let me give you some context. If you happen to be reading this and you don’t know me take a quick look at my website. It will give you a little insight as to why I’m writing what I’m writing. Every one of these dumb things has been said to me.

As promised: The dumb things people say when one is going through a hard time

Part 1
These are more universal. Many of us have experienced these dumbisms. (The bolded parts are the dumbisms)

God won’t give you more than you can handle.
Really? I think this line has been used so much that I’m sure even God is over it as much as I am.

This will make you stronger.
Probably, but not the point.

Think of all the people you’ll help because of what you’ve been through.
Helping others isn’t usually foremost on your mind when your whole world has fallen apart. Later maybe….. but not right now.

At least you’re alive.

Part 2
My personal favorites – All of these ‘isms’ come with stories.

God bless you.
I got this with a pat on the head

What happened to you??? (This was asked in the very early days)
First: try some tact. Second: shark bit me

Followed up by, was it serious?

It’s too bad about your stomach.
This one is great. I had some leftover surgery done about a year after my car crash. I had some staples along my abdomen and it was possibly infected, so I had to go in to emergency. I was waiting in a room when a doctor comes in to check me out. I was wearing a gown so you could see I had prosthetic legs and I am pretty much scarred from my torso down. So, when he said, “That’s a shame about your stomach” I didn’t really get it. He walked out of the room and I turned to Scott and said, “That’s a shame about my stomach? Yeah, I guess my tummy modeling career is over.”

Have you tried aloe?
There isn’t a bottle of aloe or a plant big enough, people. (As said by my friend, Jenn)

You’re so lucky! You don’t have to shave your legs now.
I’m not kidding. Someone actually said this to me and they were completely serious.

I’m sure there are more, but this is all I’ve got for now. I realize that it is hard to find the right thing to say when someone is going through something tragic or difficult, but I made this list because I’m sure we can all come up with better things to say and because it’s funny.

Swept Up

In shoes and the shoe store Gravity Pope
For you shoe lovers this is a place to be swept up in.

9 thoughts on “The dumb things that people say

  1. Angela

    You forgot the best one! You know, the one where in the early days after you came home from the hospital someone came up to you in the church washroom and said, “Don’t worry, God can still use you.” That’s my all time favorite one.

    Love, love, LOVING the blog, Heidi! I look forward to a new post like I look forward to a good TV show. And in case you’re wondering, I’m doing great because at least I have Nyah:-)

  2. Heidi

    Ang, I completely forgot about the washroom ambush. I laughed out loud when I read that!

    tlc, that was so bad that it’s good.

  3. La Bête

    ‘Oh well, at least you’ve got your health.’

    ‘Worse things happen at sea.’

    Those are two of my favourites.

  4. Heidi

    La bete, Health! I forgot about health. I have never heard ‘worse things happen at sea’. I like it and may use it.
    (Great blog by the way. I like the thing about Sugar Puffs.)

  5. Jenn Bateman

    I also remember feeling horrified when the shaving comment was made. Oh my word.

    Heidi- in these moments just whisper to yourself ‘you are an evergreen’ and ‘you’ll have everything you’ve always wanted….’

  6. O'Really

    Hi. I have a response for “At least you’re alive” but it wouldn’t be appropriate for “polite conversation.” *the last two words said like a southern gentleman*

    The insipidness of “Have you tried aloe?” is breathtaking. Astonishing, really. Do you, you know, actually hit them and not tell anybody that you “knocked some sense” into these people on a regular basis? You don’t have to say.

    I gots more, but I’m all typed out for now. *big stretch like I’m really tired* Yup, just finished up some blogging. Yup, just typing away at the old blog. Yup…

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