I love the fall. It is my new year. This is my time for resolutions. Well, I don’t really do resolutions, but I do fresh starts and deep breaths. Here, in BC, autumn is gorgeous. I mean take your breath away kind of gorgeous. It is sunny and crisp and colourful. I can’t get enough of it.
I get very caught up in this season. Always saying things like, isn’t this beautiful? Don’t you just love this weather? Don’t you feel sorry for people that don’t live here? I sigh a lot and listen to ‘feeling’ sort of music. And I eat a lot of apples. The apple is my favourite fruit. It isn’t exotic, but there is nothing like a perfect crunchy unbruised apple especially when they are local apples.
I want to have a fresh start this fall. I won’t make a resolution since I’m not into those, but I want to pursue peace and have it stick.
I am a thoughts everywhere sort of person. I’m a part-time insomniac these days for all the thoughts. I like things just so and I want to live by a plan, people! But, my life has never followed the plan that I planned. Things happen. Life happens and I need to go with it except that I’m not a going with it kind of girl.
Many good things have come out of the unexpected – surprising happy things. So, I don’t know why the unknown freaks me out so much. We can always, always count on the unknown. I can predict that I won’t know, so why can’t I be comfortable with it?
Well, that is the new plan. To get comfortable with the unplan and find peace in the midst of it. And I think…maybe….just maybe….I’m part of the way there.
Worrying is second nature to me. Breathing and worrying. They’re like Siamese twins joined at the head(s). I can’t separate them. However, lately, slowly, there is more breathing and less worrying. I have said things like, “I can’t change this. So why worry about it?” It’s not profound and I have said this a thousand times if not more and it made no difference. But, lately something is different. I am beginning to believe what I’m saying. Or I’m saying it because I believe it. I don’t know if I’m kidding myself or if I’m on my way to becoming a peace guru, but the worrying and the breathing are separating.
Headaches – I am having fewer headaches and this is promising. It’s a sign of peace.
There is a fair amount of stress around here. Like an in ground pool of stress. I’m thinking if the pursuit of peace is successful I won’t be riddled with ulcers at the age of 33 and that eye twitch will stop. Yup….always looking on the bright side.
All I can do is my best. This lesson has been taught to most of us since Kindergarten if not earlier. I will do my best to trust, to not worry (so much), to go with it, pursue peace and please, God, let it stick.
Sigh. I love the fall.
In the fall of course!
This was taken last year. I have looked everywhere for a good fall photo. Nothing. Lots of winter. Lots for the summer. So much for this being my favourite season!
This is 2 year old Ben.
And on a side note I had ‘give peave a chance’ up all day as my subject title. Peave! Peace….it’s supposed to be peace. Scattered much?