I’m supposed to be writing a ten minute speech right now. I am five minutes in. I’m taking a break and hanging out here for a while until the heavens open up and reveal the words or I feel guilty enough to finish the remaining five minutes.
Every once in a while I ask myself this question, is this (whatever it is that I’m doing) life-giving?
I don’t ask it about everything. Unloading the dishwasher, which I loathe, is not life-giving to me, but it needs to get done. Obligation sometimes trumps that stop and smell the flowers thing. I do, however, find doing laundry life-giving. It is so satisfying to open the dryer, fish out the clothes, towels, whatever, and snap them before folding. I’m in love with my lilac scented dryer sheets. Ummm, where am I? Sidetracked. Okay….life-giving. What gives you life?
That question will usually nag me for a few weeks before I do a slow search of my heart. Is this life-giving? And, really, that question is unto a bigger question. I’m asking, am I living my life to its fullest?
Over a few years, a car crash, and limb loss, living life with some measure of gusto has become a priority to me. Top of the list: live life to its fullest. If I could give anything away to my kids it would be that. I have, lately, let that one slip to the number five spot after: obsess about paying bills. And the one before that? Write this speech. Of course I need to pay the bills and write the speech. But, I want to live a full life while fulfilling my obligations. Sometimes my head needs to be in the clouds.
It is good to take stock. To say no because you can. Breathe in deeply (especially when outside). Ask why. Be still. Say yes because it helps. Love to challenge fear. Risk and you might win big. Rest. Notice the stars. Discover what’s so funny. All in the name of life.
But, not just any salt ‘n vinegar chips – Old Dutch salt ‘n vinegar chips. You can only get them in Canada. The craving for them hit me tonight and I went out pajama bottoms and all and bought them. I came home and ate chip after chip while watching America’s Next Top Model. This show blows and I still watch. I can’t help myself.