There is this pool of something at the very end of the very end. Just when you think this is it, this is the end of the line, seconds before the breakdown you pull it out…tada! The reserve.

You think this time I have hit my limit. It is more than I can handle. I am beyond capacity. Like having nine lives the reserve kicks in. This energy that you didn’t know you had. The deep down. You draw on your life, your experiences, your faith and you survive. There is a collection of strengths in you that you have spent a lifetime building.

You know how to love, endure, fight, long for, put your hand to, face fears…and you are loved. This is how you get through. Just when you want to wither away, just when you feel you’re about to be crushed you draw your weapon. You. And your sheer will to survive.

(…I wrote this with someone in mind…but it could be for anyone…that is going through a hard time…I should have just left it as it is with no explanation…)

Swept Up

In Oceanship
Scott has just released a website for this band. Their CD has been in my car for the last month and it is gorgeous, gorgeous music made by gorgeous people. Seriously. They’re stunning. And they have music to back up the gorgeous. There it is all wrapped up in a bow.

6 thoughts on “Reserve

  1. Kate Coveny Hood

    I wish that everyone going through a hard time could read this. I should bookmark it for future…

  2. dawn

    thank you for reminding me, heidi. it’s not always easy to turn around and look back at all i’ve been able to get through when all i see in front of me is yuck. kate is right….i think it i’ll bookmark it too.

  3. Linda Sue

    reserve- ok, when is it sposed to kick in???SOON? Before christmas I am hoping, also hoping that my reservoir is not dry…
    Hoping for you a happy christmas and abundant reserve!

  4. amisare waswerebeen

    It seems that so many of us are having to tap into our reserves. I’m finding that mine are a lot deeper than I thought. I just wish I wasn’t having to tap into it so often lately.

    Thank you for putting things like this into words for us.

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