I am not breezy…all tra la la. I don’t let things just roll off my back and follow the ebb and flow that is life.
I am more of a swim upstream kind of girl. I hang on. I control. I like things just so. There is always something to do. Something to plan. I like plans. Something to put away. Something to finish.
I used to think it was a problem. My Achilles Heel. It should be something that should be weeded out or sent away like pesky kids that a soon to be stepmother from the movies wants to get rid of. As soon as she gets married to the father those kids are going to boarding school….in Switzerland.
There was a turn – an epiphany of sorts – when I turned 30. I began to embrace that person that likes things just so. I get things done. Plans and lists can be helpful. I function better in order and what’s so bad about that anyway? Scott couldn’t find anything if it wasn’t for me.
I get that there has to be balance. I can’t let the high maintenance get the better of me unless I want leg infections, go to IV therapy, and not be able to move without vomiting for 24 hours. (That was me a few days ago. Fun.) I need to let people in and ask for help. Sometimes I just have to let go.
(I have fun by the way. I’m not a total neurotic geeked out loser.)
Breezy or high maintenance we’re all equal. We have something to contribute and a place in this world. And my place right now is filled with plans, lists, renovations, clothes in my living room, paint colors, boxes to trip over and reminders that the chaos will settle, that all of this work will be worth it and it’s going to be alright.
Okay, so maybe I need a little breezy in my life.