little girl world

Girls. What is it about girls?

I took Annie to Kindergarten this morning. She had her feelings hurt, her little girl world crushed, and was given a long talk by me all before the bell rang and then I kissed her goodbye and wished her a good day.

This past week she’s dipped a toe into the kind of drama I was so happy to walk away from after high school.

I get home schooling. On days like today I understand home schooling. I don’t want to shelter my kids from life. I want them to have social skills and learn how to work things out. I want them to experience school and have peers. I couldn’t home school. It’s too much. I couldn’t subject my kids to that kind of torture. But, when they’re five and being excluded and told they aren’t liked I want to take her home.

I was liked. I had friends. But I remember being initiated into that girl world of teasing, whispers, and freezing out. It equips me, I suppose, to get her through this now. She is liked. She has friends, but girls can be fickle. It’s her turn to be initiated and I’m wondering does it have to be this way and isn’t this too soon?

Parenting has snuck up on me. I’m surprised to find myself in the position of teacher. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. We smile at our babies coaxing smiles out of them. We urge them to put one foot in front of the other as toddlers. They are suddenly made very aware of others when we coach them to share. Now I’m navigating these land mines called feelings. And we model. For better or worse we model. We teach them.

Annie is confident. She knows who she is and if I can help it I won’t let anyone chip away at that. I’m trying. I make mistakes. I don’t always get it right, but I am for her. Always for her. I want her world to be a little girl’s world for as long as it can be. Not because I never want her to grow up, but because I don’t want her to grow up too fast.

Swept Up

In Annie
That’s my girl sandwiched between her two best friends, Indiana and Wes.

Photo taken by Anastasia Chomlack.

16 thoughts on “little girl world

  1. Dorkys Ramos

    Aww Annie! I’d want to protect her from all the bad in the world too. Kids can be so mean sometimes with the teasing and bullying. I know you’ll do your best to raise a confident little girl who’ll (eventually) grow up into a strong woman.

  2. Linda Sue

    Ouch! This stuff breaks my heart into several pieces! My son never went to pulic school and though Montessori stressed kindness to one another the teacher was a biotch…I took him out of school for three blissful years of home schooling, our community is rich for that without the fundamental christian tag…Our house was house of choice for kids so it was always full, My son learned sharing very well…The only thing I can say for sure is do what will ease your best thoughts, if you feel sad or guilty- change it immediately and do the right thing even if it is controversial. Kids seem tough but we know how the smallest mean spirited action can stick for a very long time colouring thier self perception…not necissary at all! Love you – Good luck with this stage…Such a little girl…I tear up thinking of her.

  3. dawn

    why are girls so brutal to one another? i really had to pull my reigns in when jus was little because i seriously thought i would slug a few little girls who made my baby upset. and yet, they find their way just as we all did. still, that tearing down stuff…breaks my heart. and your littlle girl is so adorable. just want to eat her up with a spoon. it’s inevitable that we leave impressions on our girls, because that’s the nature of the beast. but the good will always outweigh the bad for her…that i’m sure of because you’re a good mom.

  4. Heidi

    thank you all!! really. thank you. annie and i have done some talking. i’ve spoken with a parent. it seems this has been going on for a little while now and i didn’t know. there were a couple of things…but i didn’t piece them together. we’ll figure it out though. it’s a good school with good kids and good parents. as annie said to me today, “maybe tomorrow will be a better day.”

  5. Tanis Sullivan

    Who was it? Please don’t say it was Camille!!!! Shall we out the little trouble maker! 🙂
    This kind of stuff freaks me out. I wish we could just put them in a bubble forever!

  6. kendalee

    Annie’s advantage is having a mum who is aware, who loves her to bits, and who wants only the best for her. You’ll no doubt navigate this with the same accomplished heart and head combination you seem to apply to most things Heidi. She’s a lucky little girl. And you’re a lucky mum. She’s gorgeous!

  7. amisare waswerebeen

    I’ve had to navigate these waters more with my son than my daughter, surprisingly. His best friend is a girl and I’ve had to tell him that sometimes girls are fickle and act weird for no reason. I let him know that the best thing to do is just wait it out and have fun somewhere else until it passes. It’s a cycle. They’re good for a week, then he’s wondering why she’s not talking to him one day. I’m glad that I dispensed with the drama early in life. I hope they can too.

  8. Heidi

    tanis, no! of course it’s not camille!! and do you really think i would write about that here knowing you read my blog? you’re hilarious!

    thanks everyone for the support! you guys are so sweet. i think annie is taking it better than i am.

  9. LMN

    Oh my gosh she is so darling. That was a crazy reminder of the reality of young girls – thankfully I feel like I didn’t experience much drama in that department as a real youngster, but I do remember the difficult days starting in 5th grade as a new kid at school. Full of snubs and looks and whispers and other things that inevitably made me cry. I don’t envy those days! She is lucky to have such a wise, grounded mom in you.

  10. Jodi

    Oh Heidi, I’m sorry to say it doesn’t get any better. My only suggestion is to keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes they come home and tell you stuff you really wish they hadn’t but it all pays off in the end.

    Caitlin and I are now discussing puberty. How fun!!! I’ve discovered that the best way to do it is to discuss it in the car, that way you both don’t have to feel so uncomfortable because you don’t have to look at each other.

    Sorry to be a downer but I just wanted to pre-pre warn you on what’s to come.

    Annie’s a toughy, she’ll figure it out especially since she has two awesome parents on her side. Must be the genes!!!

  11. Anna See

    This is so hard. It’s hard when your kids are on either end of it–dishing it out or taking it. I so much want my kids to learn how to navigate the social waters and do it with dignity and kindness. I have one who cries all the time (much past the crying all the time age), and it’s hard to explain that feeling so deeply is fine, but that will find it off-putting. I have another who has people fighting over her. I’ve explained there is “enough of her to go around,” so she can be friends with lots of people. Sigh.

  12. disa


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