Memory is elastic. Just when you think you’ve forgotten it bounces back. I know how to do this. I’ve done this. It’s familiar. It isn’t note for note. The environment is different. But, the feelings. The feelings are the same.
I know what I have. I know how good my life is. It’s just that…well…I’m getting bored of anxiety and circumstances beyond my control. I get that there will always be that which I can’t control. It would be nice, however, to strongly identify with something like world class boxer or lion tamer or something that is actually achievable rather than manager.
(side note: I’ve been pouring out my thoughts here and you guys have been kind enough to read and listen…always ready with encouragement and your own take. You have been very good to me and I’m grateful.)
The sun came out this weekend. The sun came out and brought some perspective. This memory bounced and tumbled its way over to me. It hung over me like some rainbow of promise. A moment forever frozen in time where the window was small and I didn’t know where to go next, but I looked at life, God, and the faces in front of me, drew a deep breath and said, yes.
I’m on the brink of possibility with a larger window this time. Rather than turn away, rather than drive myself to distraction I want to say yes. I want more. I want to go. I want to be surprised. I want to bring what I can. I want to look ahead and not be afraid. I want to want.
Scott and I went to Seattle for the weekend. The delightful Heather from livemorenow who is from Seattle gave us the goods on places to eat. It was an adventure for the taste buds. Thanks to her we had the pleasure of dining at Lola (Scott’s favorite), Etta’s, Serious Pie (best pizza EVER! we ate here twice), and had brunch at Café Campagne. We also had delicious Top Pot doughnuts. Take that, Krispy Krème. Did I mention the amazing weather we had? I was on a sun high. Giddy from warmth. I would do cartwheels if I could. We had a great, great time together. (The photo is of Lola)