love, love, love

When you peel away fatigue, schedules, and one hundred other things there is love. It, more than anything, defines me. Going after love, not giving up on love, and being free to love is my life’s work.

It’s so easy to determine what distracts us from love and what waters it down, but I’m not going to make that list. We can be quick to dismiss it or act like we don’t want it. We’re cynical and maybe there’s reason to be. But, I don’t want to talk about it. I want to honor love. Love, when it is pure and good, is worth shouting about from the rooftops.

Love has saved me. Over and over again it has saved me. Love is worth fighting for and committing to. Love isn’t something you keep to yourself. It isn’t something you hoard. Love is as scary as it is dizzyingly beautiful.

I know it isn’t popular to say that you need love. But, I do. I need it. It’s the common thread that weaves through motherhood and marriage. It’s in my layers and history and stitched tight, so I have a soft place to land.

My daughter will tell me she loves me constantly. It is her answer when she forgets what she’s going to say. “Mommy? I love you.” Sometimes I think, alright already. This is the 33rd time I’ve heard it today. I get it. You love me. But, I’ll never ask her to stop. I’ll never tell her it’s enough. It’s an answer to a question. An answer to my questions. When you strip everything away there it is beating, sure, and true. A force to be reckoned with. Love.

Swept Up

In Season Finales
I loved them all. Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, The Office, 30 Rock, and Gossip Girl. I could write pages on Lost. They’re changing up the game again and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Grey’s…Bailey’s speech (I adore her. She could kick my ass anytime)…Meredith, who’s all grown up…Izzie…George…George! So, so good. And The Office?! I loved what Michael had to say about him and Holly – how theirs was a long love story. Jim’s face…just Jim’s face. If you’ve seen it you’ll understand what I mean by Jim’s face. Anyway, I could go on and on. The finales did not disappoint. I’m a little sad that my stories, for now, have come to an end, but I still have In Treatment to keep me company and Entourage is on its way. See ya, last season. Hello Summah!

11 thoughts on “love, love, love

  1. Caroline

    I am a big believer in LOVE…we all need as much as we can get! Oh boy, I can’t wait to Entourage to start again!

  2. kendalee

    HEAR, HEAR!!!

    Sorry to shout, but that’s what it makes me want to do – a big, loud, resounding YES to love! Great post Heidi.

  3. Dorkys Ramos

    I LOVE that that’s her answer and I love that she’s not afraid to use it as such. I was such a fierce guard over my heart that I wanted to control every bit of care and love I dared to give out. I said I could live without it, that I’d be just fine if I never experienced it.

    Until I did and I was never the same. Since then I’ve learned that guarded, careful and controlled love is sooo not worth it. And I want more of the warm and carefree kind. Even if it still scares the crap out of me.

    P.S. I’m sad I have to wait a lifetime for Lost to return.

  4. LMN

    Yes, I think LOVE is worth shouting about from the rooftops, too! So many kinds of love. True love, lost love, unrequited love, broken love, everlasting love, unconditional love, even conditional love, if that can be considered love.

    Love is for me, one of the few things that is capable of saving AND destroying us. Let’s hope it saves more than it destroys. I definitely believe that is the case.

    Loved your post on love!!!!! (I am shouting that from my rooftop, which I visited earlier today!)


    How wonderful your little darling is… LOVE is truly the opposite of fear! You are so blessed lady!!
    PS: I'm lost in LOST by now…all the twists & turns…hee*

  6. Heidi

    Caroline, entourage is summery goodness…can’t wait!

    kendalee, thank you for the shout!

    dorkys, oh, i loved what you had to say. how you came through what you did and what you discovered about love…really beautiful.

    lmn, thank you. yes, i agree that love can destroy, but, like you, i think and hope it saves more than it destroys. here’s to love!

    lenore, thank you. wasn’t the finale sooo good?? i can’t believe i have to wait so long for the last season!

  7. Kate Coveny Hood

    Had to skip “Swept Up” since I have to catch up on a lot of finales…

    But I’m with you on love. I say it about 100 times a day to my kids.

  8. you gotta wonder

    I fell behind on my reading. This was a wonderful lunch-time treat today!

    I definitely 100% agree with you on this. Love is everything. There is nothing else that matters as much. We are called to love one another. I truly believe the greatest gift we give is love. You are so eloquent – I delight in your style of capturing my thoughts!


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