You know how you think you’re one way and through restlessness, exploration and hitting the nail on the head you discover you’re another way? One of those really?? kind of realizations that you’re surprised by and another piece of the puzzle clicks into place. I like when that happens. It’s like you win, but you’re the only contestant and the prize is a better sense of self. You have nothing to show for it, but you can hold your head a little higher and feel a little less crazy.
I’m a bit of a, I think; therefore I am sort of person. I enjoy people and the energy of a room full of people. I enjoy long conversations over a cup of coffee or glasses of wine, but I refuel being alone. I take up residence in my head before I can come out and play again. Do you know what this makes me? An introvert. Maybe this comes as a so what to you. But, to me, this was a mini revelation. Not a full blown, there are fireworks, I’m in a fetal position crying on the floor sort of revelation, but a firecracker of revelation. I am an introvert. I would have never identified myself as one. I talk a lot. I love being around people. I love plans. I love going out. I don’t even mind small talk. I’m not all that smart. (I tend to think introverts are super smart.)
I’m not a big fan of labels. Nerd, jock, prep and rebel circa Breakfast Club. I don’t do those or any others. I don’t want to be red or blue or a romantic with a stubborn streak and a twist of neuroses. But, this just helps. Like hand smack to forehead. A mini firecracker revelation. And get this. I don’t have to be highly intelligent to be an introvert.
I don’t want to be hemmed in or tied down. I don’t want someone to tell me who I am or what I’m not. I want to buck the system and break the rules. But, sometimes, when a piece of the puzzle fits and fills in the picture it clicks. It makes sense, so you make sense.
It’s been a gorgeous month here and it’s drawing to a close with Sports Day and recitals and end of school year parties. Tulips and irises have come and gone. Now it’s the next round of flowers blooming in my yard. There are roses everywhere, poppies that are finishing up and other things which I can’t identify. The previous owner had a very green thumb. It’s been fun seeing her handiwork over these last few months. Every week something new crops up. Next post I’ll have more photos up. For now, I just have this one of Annie at Sports Day participating in a crab walk race.