lost in time

I can get very lost in my own world and, don’t tell anyone, but I really like it. Like when I get completely and wholly absorbed in a book that I can barely tear myself away from. I do because I have to, but I am counting down the minutes until I get to pick up that book again. I tune out the responsibilities that aren’t immediate and I tack a list to the back of my mind that I’ll get to later. I like being out of touch with the rest of the world for a while. I like being disconnected. Just me and my bubble. Until, of course, I have to break it to address the panic at the back of my mind. I can’t live in a bubble forever.

I wonder if more of us could use some disconnect from the outside just for a little while to regroup and remember what it’s like to spend time with ourselves. To be good to our mental health. I used to go for walks often. I would walk for the sake of being alone, to notice how the light fell through the trees and to breathe. Feel the sun on my face. Feel the earth beneath my feet (sort of). To get lost in a moment or an hour and let the routine slide away. Over the last two years walking has become too task oriented. It’s about the destination and I’ve forgotten about the light through the trees.

It’s not about hiding or shirking responsibility, but about taking comfort in my thoughts, scattered or otherwise, and my aloneness. There’s not much of a bubble to be had when you’re pulled every which way, but I can still carve out a space for myself where it doesn’t have to be filled with the next thing to do. There can just be time without knowing how to spend it.

Swept Up

In those damn Twilight books
I told myself I was not going to jump on the Twilight bandwagon. I thought, No, not me. It’s not going to happen to me. And then Quesnel happened and Scott’s aunt had every book in the series and I could borrow them if I wanted to. Well, I started reading Saturday night after the wedding we attended and it’s what…Thursday now and I’m halfway through the final book, Breaking Dawn (which I’m not feelin’ by the way). I’m a little embarrassed that I fell so hard so fast. I wasn’t going to be one of the many, many women that got hooked on books about a vampire and a teenage girl, but I did. So, I’m reluctantly, head hung low swept up in these damn books.

19 thoughts on “lost in time

  1. kendalee

    I so relate to this Heidi! I definitely find that going in to that bubble allows me to function better outside of the bubble when I have to (which is most of the time). And I love that sense of being fully in the moment but unaware of the moment because it's as if time doesn't exist in there. Delicious!

    I haven't succumbed to the Twilight thing yet but I never say never. One of my colleagues has offered me her set to borrow and it seems rude not to… 😉

  2. sugarlens

    Although I love spending time with my family and friends, I cherish the time I have to myself. I enjoy taking walks on my own with just my two puppies. I enjoy some nights alone with just my laptop.

    I agree that you need time like that for yourself so you can face the outside world!

    I haven't caught up with the Twilight books. Maybe one day…

  3. Brandi

    the older i get, the more comfortable i am with being by myself…i am now to the point where i crave 'me' time, yay!

    i fell for twilight too. i made the mistake of buying only the first book and then staying up well past my bedtime to finish it…and then i had to wait until the stores opened in the morning to buy the other 3! 🙂

  4. Caroline

    Heidi..I get the bubble. I love my bubble! I don't like to leave my bubble 🙂 But then, life does have to be lived with others…lol.

    Twilight engulfed me last summer. I won't lie, I enjoyed being swept up in the series. I kept saying I would to turn into a vampiress for someone like Edward… It's OK…it's fun!

  5. FranticMommy

    Heidi, I too "get" the bubble. There's many times I want to jump inside my pretend bubble, peer at everyone and say (with sweeping arm motions)"I am in my bubble. You cannot touch me". I told that to my hubby not too long ago. He paused, glanced at me and responded "I'd give the kids pins…." So much for my bubble. Good post!

  6. bernthis

    my favorite thing in the world is to get caught up in a good book. I definitely need more down time in my life

  7. Kamana

    i cherish the time i have for myself with a good book. or a good walk in beautiful surroundings.

  8. Linda Sue

    Heidi, bubble is good. I usually go to a massive bookstore and get lost…or for a ride in my gassed up car. Bubble is good, it's that only healthy thing to do in this overwhelming world..
    LOVE you!

  9. Intense Guy

    Amen to "I would walk for the sake of being alone, to notice how the light fell through the trees and to breathe. Feel the sun on my face."

  10. LMN

    Yes! I love the timing of this post. Came home early from work today. Pulled out a new lounge chair (it's called the anti-gravity chair – it folds and "freezes" into all sorts of comfy positions when you lock it) … and I lounged. And read. In the sun. By myself. Okay, with my doggies. But it was WONDERFUL. And I though I NEED TO DO THIS MORE OFTEN.

    Thank you for the timing of this! Happy Friday!!!

  11. Maggie May

    Hi! New here. I am the same way with novels. I'm an addict. My husband gave in to the Twilight series and read the entire thing in a WEEK!

  12. LENORENEVERMORE

    Oh-Oh….
    another lady seems to be hooked on books about a vampire…hee* Am I going to be next?! Lovely weekend to you dear 😉

  13. Heidi

    kendalee, i fear you might like the twilight books. i was almost hoping not to – to say that i didn't succumb, but i did.

    sugarlens, aloneness….it's dreamy, isn't it?

    brandi, that's so funny about the books. i could just picture you there waiting for those doors to open. they're addictive, hey?

    caroline, hahaha about the bubble. i'm with you. it's hard to leave the bubble.

    franticmommy, i laughed at your sweeping arm motions. i'm pretty sure i've made the sweeping arm motions to my family saying, this is my space and this is YOUR space…

    bernthis, i am so with you…there is nothing like being caught up in a book. it's one of my favorite bubbles to be in. i hope you get some of that time. 🙂

    kamana, me too…i cherish that time too.

    linda sue, i know this about you. you're actually quite inspirational in the whole getting lost in the bubble for a while. i like that about you.

    intense guy, yeah…there's nothing quite like it. 🙂

    lmn, anti-gravity chair. what is an anti-gravity chair?? i'm liking the sound of this. your day sounds lovely.

    maggie may, hello! first, i am loving your name…maggie may. love that. that's too funny abut your husband getting into the books. i just forced myself to take a break from the last book so i could pay attention to the other people in my life. 😉

    lenore, i know, i know…another lady. don't hate me. happy weekend to you!

  14. Jennifer

    This is so funny, I keep waffling over starting those books. It was too much hype for me but everyone I know who has tried them was completely absorbed…This was the tipping point, I am going to pick it up and bring take it on holiday with me

  15. Kate Coveny Hood

    It's official. We're the same person.

    Don't worry about Twilight. Once you're done with the series, you start to wonder why they were so captivating. For me it was all about finding out whether she really does become a vampire. But the spell is broken once all is revealed and then the mania fades (but you will want to see the movies – there is some residual Twilight obsession that doesn't go away.)

  16. Heidi

    jennifer, i'm with you on the hype. but, give in, i say. why not? 🙂

    lisa, absolutely. 🙂

    kate, i laughed at this. i was shamed by my friends for reading them. i knew i would be. i finished the last book yesterday which got better halfway through. i still can't quite believe i got so into them. seriously. what happened to me?

  17. Dorkys Ramos

    Oh I've yet to fall for the Twilight books! But it seems that slowly every one around me has been sucked into it. The last series I felt this way for was Harry Potter and I do miss completely losing myself in another world.

    Speaking of walks and alone time, I should get ready to enjoy this lovely weather we're finally having 🙂

  18. you gotta wonder

    Heidi, you hit on 2 thoughts that have been tickling my brain and will probably turn into posts of my own: 1) alone-time in the bubble -for me it's been found in swimming laps…no phone, no TV, (for the most part) no distractions for 30 minutes & 2) the journey vs. the destination (I like being there more than getting there).

    And then there's Twilight. Am I really the only one of us who read the first one and stopped there? My son has the series so I could have kept going, but didn't. I saw the movie and it didn't do much for me. I have a stack of hand-me-down Stuart Woods novels that I'm working my way through. Great summer reading.

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