i haven’t entirely dropped off the face of the earth

Okay, I know I haven’t been here in, like, forever. That’s a month in blog time. And here come the excuses. Not that I need any because most of you will come to my aid and say, this is YOUR blog and YOU do whatever YOU want. YOU are right, but I’m making the excuses anyway.

Is getting into the Olympics a good excuse? Because I did. We live about an hour outside of Vancouver, so this was pretty exciting for us. When we went to see the cauldron Ben couldn’t get over how it was ‘just like on TV’. His exact words were and these words were shouted while jumping up and down, “It’s just like on TV! It’s for real! It’s in real life!”

I’m working more now so this cuts into blogging time and, really, more than anything else I feel tired. Like I’m good for about three hours in the morning and then I hit a wall of fatigue I’m barely functioning tired. Is this a working mom thing or am I depressed but don’t know it or do I need to take a trip to the new Nature’s Fare Market where it smells healthy which means bad to discover I need approximately 12 different vitamins and I must cut out all of my sugar and replace steak with tofu in order to be a healthy whole person again? I hope no one ever tells me to cut out all of my sugar. One of my biggest fears is that I’ll be diabetic and I’ll feel screwed for the rest of my life. You can take away my legs, but not my sugar.

I’ve made a doctor’s appointment. Maybe she can tell me what’s wrong with me or point me in the right direction. She’ll probably say something like you should eat lunch at lunch and here are some pamphlets on a variety of counselors. And then I’ll pick a counselor based on the best qualifications (best looking pamphlet) and after a couple of sessions where he now knows everything about my sexual history (don’t ask) he’ll say, “Hmmm, you’re alright. You need to see a life coach. Here’s her card.” That’s paraphrased from real life, folks. I took the card like I meant it and then promptly lost it. I liked my therapist in the two hours I got to know him, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Hopefully I’ll be sent to get blood work done this time, told I’m anemic or something and I’ll be happily, yet sluggishly on my way. I love my doctor by the way. She’s one of the good ones and even though her hours are now cut in half and it’s weeks before I can get an appointment she will never be rid of me. I’m clinging to her like a needy teenage girl dating the popular boy in high school.

I’ll be back writing more of the story. I’ve been putting it off and leaving it behind for a while. Maybe I needed the break, but I also need to get back into sitting at my computer and writing something every once in a while. Thank you to all of you that stop here and read. It means the world to me.

(This has nothing to do with anything, but I really need to change that photo of me. I don’t have bangs anymore, I’ve acquired more wrinkles and my arm must be numb holding up that mug of coffee…)

23 thoughts on “i haven’t entirely dropped off the face of the earth

  1. Jordan Bateman

    I actually laughed out loud at this post. Thought about you in full Braveheart battle gear, on a horse, waving a chocolate stick and shouting, "They may take our legs, but they will never take… our sugar!"

  2. Jenn Bateman

    Jordan read that paragraph out loud to me! HILARIOUS!
    And your skin is NOT wrinkled and is as lovely as ever!
    Now I am scared to go to Natures Market….

  3. Heidi

    Hey you two, shouldn't you be having a baby or something? 🙂

    Man, I love you guys.

    I wonder if I could get a chocolate stick? And a horse….

  4. Christy

    You are a hidden comic and I didn't even know it! You're so funny Heidi! Since you're expecting people to be all nice and oh it's your blog do what you want I'll surprise you and do the exact opposite! Get back on that horse! Write more! Self medicate with uppers! (hahaha just kidding on that one!) But get out there and do what makes you happy, above all. Hopefully it's return to blogging, for our sake! 😉

  5. Kate Coveny Hood

    Ugh! I could write a whole post about the two vertical wrinkles that have taken up residence next to my left eye. I would title it, "And Then I Just Gave Up Altogether."

    This cracked me up – especially that last part!

  6. tanya

    This sounds so much like the Heidi I know and love.

    Poop on the tired, I know that one too well. And FYI: Nature's Fare has some yummo things in it thankyouverymuch! 😉

  7. bernthis

    take my sugar? take me. I workout b/c i love sugar so much and it helps me get out of bed in the mornings quasi happy with my life and body.

    I am anemic, so they say but I know that I have to cut back on the sugar, I know I do b/c it does my body no good and yet…..I don't.

  8. kendalee

    I'm now blaming a Winter that's outstayed her welcome for my sluggishness but yours all sound like excellent reasons! Your wit is clearly intact and that's a great sign that you'll pull through 🙂 Whatever it is that's ailing you, I hope you scare it away (perhaps with extra large doses of sugar?) and feel better soon… xx

  9. Lynne

    Me too, I'm a sugar fan. In fact a diabetic friend took my sugar count a while ago and it was high.
    Glad to see you back, if only to say hello.

  10. Linda Sue

    I reckon that cup of coffee is very cold by now but still the photo is very sweet- I would keep it. For something sweet that is not sugar, besides your photo, and is actually good for you try English Toffee stevia, a little goes a long way,and it is kind of weird!I didn't eat sugar for over a year and felt so much better…but somebody waved Texas fudge cake at me – I am addicted…must stop!I swear I could inject it!
    Glad to see you here! Glad you got into the Olympics to see what ever it was that you saw. Next- the world cup??? Little jaunt to S.A.?

  11. Anonymous

    I love that photo of you. You look so care free and relaxed.
    I went to the doctor because I was feeling exactly how you are. I got blood work done and my iron's a little low, but basically my Dr. told me that it's the age of my children, my job and the business of life. I was hoping it was just Iron. I can pop a pill for iron. I can't pop a pill to change life.
    Keep writing. I love reading your thoughts. You are an inspiration.

  12. Judy Haley (CoffeeJitters.Net)

    I love blogs where the writer is just so human…

    I recently had to cut out all sugar… my poor family has been dealing with a grumpy mama

  13. Heidi

    christy, "self medicate with uppers"…that made me laugh. what kind of uppers might those be? i think the chocolate kind may suffice and i'll wash that down with a giant glass of wine. 🙂

    anna see, isn't that the truth? you know what gets me? the pillow lines when you get up in the morning that take an extraordinarily long time to disappear. that freaks me out a little.

    kch, "and then i just gave up altogether"…spoken like the kate that i adore. love that.

    tanya, i knew you'd come to nature's market's defense! you're right, they do have some good things. we got the fruit juice gummy bears which i think taste like soap but the kids and scott love. and i got some 'clean' soap for annie because of her excema which is why we were there. i'm not sure why i'm going on about my shopping there, but it's what we do. discuss the mundane and then cap it with treats. 🙂

    bernthis, you and me both. i truly can't imagine a life without sugar. i've cut out some every once in a while, but it's not something i can stick to. and why bother?

    kendalee, you guys have had a long winter! we've been lucky and have had some gorgeous weather, so i can't blame winter. i'll see my doctor next week. sugar is almost always the answer and a glass of wine doesn't hurt either, throw in a bit of shopping and i'm all set. although, i haven't done much shopping in a while now. maybe that's my problem?

    lynne, thank you! it's good to be back. when i looked at the date of my last post i couldn't believe it had been that long.

    linda sue, toffee stevia, hey? i'm going to have to give that a try. i laughed at the coffee being cold quip. i still think it's time to change up that photo. i'm sure it will take another 2 months before i get around to it.

    anonymous, i'm actually hoping it is something like iron being low, so i can remedy it like you. I just don't want it to be a who knows and a shrug of the shoulders, you know? and thank you for your kind words.

    lesley, euphoria is always, always the answer. i just had one of their truffles yesterday. 🙂

    judy, you poor thing! cutting out the sugar! sometimes you have to do what you have to do in order to stay sane and healthy and if cutting out sugar is the answer, so be it. i did cut out sugar in the evenings for a while. i was having far too much of it and i noticed it affected me the next day. of course, it didn't last too long, but i am having less of it now. so, that's something…i guess. all the best to you on this journey of no sugar!

  14. dawn

    don't even talk to me about wrinkles, missy. and coffee should always be represented somehow because it is truly the nectar of the gods so maybe just switch hands? 🙂

    breaks are good….coming back is good. it's all part of the process of living. i finally feel like i've come back from the dead….(though truly, i will always be dawn of the dead)…give it time. and if the dr. tells you to cut the good stuff out, repeat after me……moderation. life is too short.
    xoxox

  15. Suz Broughton

    Just so you know, I would never, never tell you to stop eating sugar. Ever! We're friends like that.
    Hope you get to the bottom of it and I hope when you get there there's a chocolate brownie waiting for you.
    Suz

  16. curious girl (lisa)

    oh I'm so glad I popped over this morning! your words never fail to heal me.

    you are your own life coach.

  17. Loraleigh

    Hi, 🙂
    How are you? I just wanted to say, thanks for being into the Olympics and from Vancouver at the same time. I had to listen to *A LOT* of whinning and complaining from my sister about the Olympics being in Vaccouver and the cost bla, bla, bla. It was hard to endure, since we in "the middle of nowhere Manitoba" had Olympic mania going on here! So thanks for getting into it and allowing your kids to experience it. It makes me happy to know that. 🙂 Much love to you, think of you often.

  18. Katie

    Heidi! I just started reading your blog after Vicki shamelessly plugged it on facebook, and WOW, you are a fantastic writer!!! I am totally addicted and stay up WAY too late working my way back through the archives. Looking forward to reading more 🙂

  19. Heidi

    dawn, you're right…coffee should always be represented. i think coffee might actually outrank sugar here. this break looks like it's turning into a sabbatical…. 🙂

    suz, ha! you are a friend like that. and friends never tell friends to cut out sugar…love that. i'll absolutely take you up on that brownie…when can i come visit you in sunny california??

    lisa, i am sooo going to have to put that in my 'about me' section or right underneath my photo or on my fridge…you are your own life coach. aren't we all? and that's so much better than hiring one of those. 🙂

    loraleigh, well, you're not getting much of a comment from me because i turned it into a phone call which turned into a long happy conversation. i think maybe you are my life coach.

    katie, hi!! i'm so glad you're here! i heard about vicki and the plugging. how cute is she?! you are way too nice to me. your comment completely made my day. thank you.

  20. Intense Guy

    I hope you are feeling better today. Sounds like "eat lunch at lunch" could go two ways – one, a sugar low making you tired and the other, being a little bummed out making you tired – or worse both…

    You DO know people care about you – and hope you feel 100% grrrrrrrrreeaaaat! soonest!

  21. kendalee

    Just popping in to say "Hi!" and hope you're feeling better. That's it really 🙂 Thinking of you… xx

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