making life happen

The last time I posted here I proclaimed that the story was about identity. It’s about far more than that. There is hope and redemption. Love is in there, too. Not only are these themes in this story that spans two years, but these are themes in my life. I realized it’s a snapshot of the last 36 years. It’s also a survivor story. Each of us has those stories. We’re striving not to make life bitter, but better, hopeful. No one sets out to make life a disappointment. We get disappointed. And then we’re confronted with choices. Instead of life happening to us, we make life happen.

Writing this story was painful at times. I wanted to stop and say no way, no more. It hurts too much. I can’t tell you how many times I wrote a piece, crying, then notice the time and see I have to pick up my kids from school. Now. I’d blow my nose, rub my red eyes, and get in the car.  I silently pleaded for no one to ask me about The Book because I was uninspired and hadn’t written in weeks. And I would have days where I couldn’t get the words down fast enough. I scribbled in a notebook my friend Tanya gave me at Annie’s dance class, in parking lots and doctor’s offices. I could barely decipher my own writing when I needed to get those words onto a computer. I sighed virtually and on the phone to friends. I felt torn between two worlds for almost a year.

Now I’ve got this book which I have finished editing, as of today. It is my book. Mine. I’ve had so much help along the way. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my friends, family, writing group and my fantastic blog readers. You guys have encouraged me since day one and I am deeply grateful. I don’t know where it will go from here. There are many steps between here and publishing. Somebody important out there has to want this book. I have a lot to do in order to make that happen and the task is pretty freakin’ daunting. But, I wrote a book. The past few weeks when I’m out grocery shopping, I’m whispering to Wheat Thins and apples, “I wrote a book.” There is a skip to my step. Well, a small one. But, not too shabby for an amputee.

It’s quiet in my head. For months ideas and words and just-one-more-thing have filled my head and now my brain has gone eerily silent. I hope it doesn’t mean I have nothing more to write. It might mean that I’m done with this book. I know there will be more to fix, but the story feels complete. I want to enjoy and celebrate that.

I’ll post another piece of the story soon. After that, it might be updates on the book’s progress (please, let there be progress!) and just your regular run-of-the-mill posts. I have no idea what that means yet. I hope you stay with me.

11 thoughts on “making life happen

  1. Katie

    I was just thinking about you today, and here you are! SO happy for you Heidi!!! What perfect timing finishing your book today, when the weather is finally getting nice. Now you can “unplug” and get outside in the sun 🙂
    I will definitely be staying with you!

  2. Toriz

    Congratulations on the completion of your first ever book!

    I hope you soon have it published; and that it’s the first of many. 🙂

  3. christy

    Of course I’m staying with you! And I love the image of you talking to wheat thins. hehehe. Let there be progress, AND SOON! I’m anxious to read it!!! Congratulations! So freaking exciting!

  4. kate

    Awesome! I’m pretty excited for you. That is a whole lot of words, good words, words I hope to read some day in a nicely bound hardcover book with a picture of you on the back. A celebration is in order when I’m back mid-June. 🙂

  5. JennyB

    It’s a huge deal and I’m so thrilled for you. You deserve a loooooong nap!! Someone ‘important’ will catch on to the magic of this book and make it happen- I believe that. Can’t wait!

  6. Emily

    Congratulations Heidi! You should celebrate this. It’s a huge thing! I can’t wait to read it : )
    And maybe one day listen to your story on Oprah!!!

  7. IntenseGuy

    Congratulations! I too, am thrilled for you! This is a huge accomplishment! And I echo what Toriz said too, perhaps there is another book “inside you” – because the story is ongoing … and not yet done.

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